Post Mortem

All girls requiring paracetemol, alka seltzer or frontal lobotomies are to see Matron. Cook is currently downing her third bucket of tea while she stirs the cauldron of porridge which is just starting to erupt nicely.Now it was not necessary to call out the Purplecombe Volunteer Fire Brigade just because the burgers on the barbie were a bit overdone, but I see now there was an ulterior motive. Blossom and Faith are keeping three of them hostage in the stationery cupboard. They really should speak to somebody about this uniform fetish. Let them go girls ,a fireman is for life not just for parties, besides if the commons flare up again they'll be needed.I've just had a long talk with the new gels, you know Julie and the Crafty one who's pretending to not be somebody else. Well they had repacked their trunks because they were extremely shocked by the behaviour, recently coming from such a well behaved setting, but I've persuaded them to stay, assuring them that they'll soon get used to our funny little ways.Now somebody bring the wheelbarrow and help me fetch the headmistress from the potting shed. Oh gawd, she's got a fireman as well.